The Good News is that I will be moving into a house in approximately 2 weeks with my current roommate, Beth. I will be the house gardener/landscape maintenance person. Granted, it will be much weeding, but, I think overall it will be a very positive experience. I'm looking forward to having my hands in the dirt...and seeing (however small) the fruits of my labor.
The other part of my good news is that we will have an extra bedroom for anyone to stay in! The upstairs will be used as office and/or art studio space, and as other miscellaneous things, including an extra bedroom should any friends decide to visit. It is a tremendous blessing, as Beth or I could never afford to live in this neighborhood, in this kind of a place, without the wonderful and kind people who are moving to Africa and letting us rent their place. I hope to steward the house well by providing hospitality to any sojourners passing through the land of Portland :) And by that I mean a comfy place to lay your head and some good home-cooked meals, as well as nourishing conversation. That is my hope and prayer for our house.
Ok, now the bad news: I am overwhelmed with what is next. Sure, I am a little bit emotionally and physically compromised right now...I've spent the last two days home from work sick with some sort of flu bug. For some reason my mind likes to give me emotional whip-lash and torment when I have too much free time on my hands. Grad school? More community college? Landscape Architecture? Urban Planning? With about a 9.5% chance of even getting accepted into graduate school for LA and the prospect of being $100K in debt after completion of said grad school, I am torn between feelings of possiblity and very real feelings of fear. My beloved boyfriend, Ben, kindly reminded me that decisions made out of fear are usually not very good ones. He also said things are going to be okay. They're going to suck, and they're going to be hard, but they're going to be okay.
What does Jesus say in this situation? He tells me not to worry. He says to seek first the Kingdom of God, and all of these little details will work themselves out.
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and th body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? ... But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matt. 6:25-27, 33
Lord Jesus, have mercy. I pray for your peace in my heart. Peace that allows me to seek Your Kingdom and not my own security. Lord, hear my prayer.
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