Frederic Buechner said that to suffer in love for another's suffering is to live life not only at its fullest, but at its holiest. It is in these places and times in my life that I have felt the most alive...where I've been in the midst of something truly sacred.
I realize that to question whether or not Christianity would exist without suffering is like questioning what life would be like without molecules...it seems to be an unproductive proposition...because we have suffering in this world, and life would not be life without molecules. We have incredible unrest, pain, and discontent. There is no point in imagining what life would be like without pain and suffering - because we have those things, and we always have had those things. It seems that these things either draw us nearer to God or lead us to withdraw in confusion, despair, anger, or isolation. Yet, in Christ, we do imagine a world without pain - where all of our tears will be wiped away from our eyes. Where all will be made new and whole. Where the city will rejoice. The very thing that draws us nearer to God seems to be the very thing that all of Christianity hinges upon. Without suffering and unrest, would we even care to look to God? Would we ever experience a holy moment? In a world without pain and suffering, who needs God?
The Kingdom I hope for is not a world in which there never was pain. It is not a utopia. It is a completely different paradigm of reality. It is Redemption. And redemption only comes about through something being turned over, redirected, and made right and whole - which means that in some weird way, suffering is actually a necessary predecessor for Redemption to ever happen. And like all forms of art, it is the contrast of light and dark which portrays the most intense kind of beauty. Christianity makes sense in a world of suffering. The Kingdom of God...the one Jesus talks about...involves an including of the outcasts, a healing of the sick, a turning over of the unjust systems that govern our lives - of corruption and greed, an empowerment of the powerless, a holy love for those who've been forgotten, mistreated, or ignored. The upside-down Kingdom needs all of these broken, ugly, painful things in order to work.
I would like to believe that if the world actually did run off of the principles that Jesus taught - if people actually did love each other, and we had peace between nations and families and within our very selves - that this way of doing things would still draw us nearer to God. I would like to believe that without suffering, we would actually be able to see God more clearly. I would like to believe that the very thing that draws us to God now...suffering...will one day not be the very thing any more. Maybe the thing that draws us nearer to God, in a peaceful world, will not be our suffering, but God's. Maybe that's the thing that, for ages since the death and Resurrection of Christ, has drawn all of humanity to the heart of God...into a deep and intimate embrace. Not our suffering, but God's.
Again I reflect on Frederic Buechner's words: To suffer in love for another's suffering is to live life not only at its fullest, but at its holiest.
My thoughts today are expressions of a faith I am trying to make sense of in light of this crazy world we live in. Sometimes I don't understand my faith. Sometimes I wonder if I have any faith at all. In my relationship with Ben, in my thoughts on the future, in my hopes for our world and particularly my hopes for this country and this upcoming election - I wrestle with God and with what my relationship to God even means. From who I know God to be, I think God likes us to wrestle with Him/Her. It is this very act of wrestling which shows our faith. So if you are reading this I encourage you to wrestle with God - and to remember that in every bit of pain and frustration and suffering we are in, God has been there. Thanks be to God.
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