I move on and forgive. I don't ask for forgiveness enough. I am weary of abuse and confusion of truth. I long for reconciliation but I also know that 'boundaries' are actually helpful in the healing process...for a time...or maybe forever? I don't know. All I know is that this is hard...and even after 'moving on' the process continues...over and over again.
Lord Jesus, have mercy.I am taking a class on the Psalms, and the prayers and songs I've read are both disconcerting and encouraging at the same time. The prayers of the people of God are not clean and full of pious musings. They are full of a lot of things...praising, pleading, hoping, (dare i say) whining, desire for vengeance, desire for justice. They are messy and cover the full range of human emotion and experience. They can pray for us when we feel we have nothing to say. I'm grateful for this class, and, even more, the prayers of the people of God translated into English and meeting me where I am at, and teaching me about prayer.
(photo credit: "Glory" - http://etiennecreations.com/3.html)
5 comments:
What class is that? I mean, for what, and through what?
the class is through the methodist church i'm sort of attending right now. i'm taking it for spiritual enrichment and growth - it's basically a small group/bible study guided by a book called 'Invitation to Psalms'. how's bible study in the 'burb going?
Nothing too profound to say, other than the one little lesson we seem to not recognize in these life processes is that most of the difficulty in "changing" the nature of a relationship (i insist that broken is an incorrect term) is from outsiders for whom the "relationship" provided some sense of comfort and ease. Too many times, we think of others appended to our intimate relationships, when in truth, it is our relationship, not theirs to change. The moving on you experience is in the world of otherness, the Martin Buber "I and thous." We are not empowered (nor should we be) to "fix" others relationships, nor should they be so empowered to "fix" ours.
Mark, thanks for your thoughts. I was pretty vague in my post...the relationships I was referring to were my own, not anyone else's. I've heard of Martin Buber...I'll have to look into that more. Feel free to expound on what you are saying, I'm not sure I caught the jist of it. :)
I was/am framing the context of personal relationships and the changes under which they go, in their larger social constructs. For example, if i have a "wife" i also have a relationship with her family, and with her friends, all of whom seem to consider the primary relationship (that between my wife and myself) to be something "other" than the intimate personal relationship i experience. My suggestion is that we need to let go of those others, let go of feeling in anyway responsible for what others (outside of the personal) choose to experience and construct. This applies to personal relationships with humans, animals, species; my relations with mitakiye oyasin (all things, all spirits, all beings)as well.
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