Prayer for Haiti

Gracious God,
I lift my voice in prayer with all the people of the world.

Surround Haiti and her people
with your loving embrace
that they may be:

supported by the world in the work of rescue and recovery;
comforted as they grieve;
strengthened as they bury their dead;
healed as they tend their wounds;
restored in faith and the
hope of things unseen;
and transformed through newness of life in Christ.

Make me an instrument
of divine love, of mercy, of hope, and of new possibility.
Give me eyes to see,
ears to hear, the will to act, and a discerning and generous heart
that I may serve you and those who suffer in whatever way I am able.

In and through the power of the Holy Spirit, I pray. Amen.

Living the Questions

Starting next Sunday I will be devoting two hours each week to what my church calls the Catechumenate, which is a spiritual journey of discovering what the Christian faith is, what is significant/meaningful about the Episcopal tradition specifically, and setting a trajectory for growing in faith.

I'm both excited and apprehensive about this. Excited because I genuinely want to be a more spiritually mature person, to know what I believe/what is meaningful to me, and to live out of that reality more fully. I am excited about asking questions that I've long been struggling with. These same questions are why I am apprehensive about the catechumenate. And I have a gut feeling these questions will not be resolved, per say, during the next several months - but I am hoping that I will be able to put them on the table, to wrestle with them, and to gain a sense of peace and confidence with the mystery of the unknown. I am hoping to not compare my faith with my friends, and to simply bring it all before the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe,

and to be at peace.

What kind of questions am I struggling with, you might be asking? Well, for starters, so much of what I recite in church on Sunday I don't actually believe. Or, perhaps more accurately, I don't feel that the language conveys the essence of what was originally meant when certain words or phrases were constructed to outline a specific doctrine. The Nicene Creed, for example, is filled with language and concepts about God that I cannot recite with honesty. Christmas carols, which my church sings (almost in excess in my opinion) this time of year, as well as hymns sung all year round, are filled with language and ideas of God and the Christian story that seem fanciful and out of touch with reality. Can I still be a Christian and not believe some of the main tenets of traditional orthodox doctrine? Who was Jesus? Who is God? How do we read and experience the Bible? Ultimately, I am hoping to sort through all of the religious hubbub to find what is real and true and meaningful, and to discard the things that are simply untrue or are a misconception about God, Jesus and what it means to be a follower of Christ. And there is a LOT of hubbub out there.

In other news, I'm in the midst of applying to nursing schools! The journey of learning that started last March with Cell Biology is now in a new and exciting phase. I'm applying to 6 different programs, all here in Portland, which start anywhere between this summer and fall. I also start classes again at PCC tomorrow, which will include the last of three in the Anatomy & Physiology series. I can't believe all the knowledge I've accumulated within the past 7 months. It's been wonderful and amazing and I'm so excited for what's to come.

Thanks for walking on this journey with me, friends.

Great video on health care reform

Biology and Ben-Hur

My first term of Anatomy & Physiology concluded about two weeks ago - and since then I've been relishing every moment of freedom I have. I am still in awe of how much information my brain absorbed during that 8-week period. We covered bones and muscles, tissues, and part of the nervous system. Even though I am ecstatic to be done, I am also excited for next term. We will be covering more of the nervous system, as well as the endocrine, cardiovascular and immune systems. What I've enjoyed learning about the most is the processes that occur - the physiology of what is happening in our bodies. Even while it is fun spouting off anatomical language with my classmates (it's true - becoming a nerd is way too easy :), I've really enjoyed learning about the chemistry behind all of the reactions that occur in and between our cells. How muscles work, how neurotransmitters work, how different types of tissues function...I won't bore my friends w/ the details but even the seemingly mundane processes our bodies regularly go through are nothing short of miraculous.

In light of my newfound freedom from classes, Ben and I have decided to start watching the "classics" - (mostly older) movies that have in some way had a dramatic impact on the world. We started this journey with the epic, "Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ." Ben has seen the movie a handful of times but I'd never seen it. Boy am I glad I did! I don't even have the words to describe this film - spectacular and deeply moving, with the quintessential lead character filled by the beautifully chiseled Charlton Heston. I highly recommend it :)

The film, being the first I've seen of Charlton Heston (I know, I know, I'm absurdly naive when it comes to classic pop culture icons), made me think back on the film I saw in high school, "Bowling for Columbine." In this film, Michael Moore interviews Charlton Heston, who, at the time, was serving as president of the NRA. I watched the interview again on YouTube yesterday and was disappointed with Moore's treatment of Heston. I am also extremely intrigued by Heston's life history (of which I am just barely aware of - via wikipedia :) -

how he went from a political progressive active in the civil rights movement to a political conservative endorsing Reagan and both Bush's, and becoming a prominent defender of the Constitution's second amendment right to bear arms. The wikipedia article quotes him as saying this in response to his apparent switch in political allegiances: "I didn't change. The Democratic party changed."

Recently a member of my family publicly criticized me for my support of health care reform and Obama. I replied that I didn't think Obama was perfect, and that I suggested he watch the film, "Sicko". This same member of my family went on say that I was "brainwashed by the left,", that "all politicians are crooks," and that Obama is "nothing more than a polished turd of a used car salesman." He also cursed the maker of "Sicko" and politely referred to Obama as "Obama bin laden". This member of my family is a HUGE supporter of gun rights and refers to himself as neither liberal nor conservative, though I do remember him giving praise to Donald Rumsfeld just after we bombed Iraq.

In watching the clip yesterday from "Bowling for Columbine" I could see one small thread...an inkling, perhaps, of common ground between this family member and myself. Ultimately my ____(unnamed family member) wants to protect the innocent. He wants to get rid of the "bad guys." He probably doesn't receive his information from the traditional media because most likely it is suspected to be biased and reflecting the views of the liberal upper class. I'm not sure where his news comes from. Ultimately, much like most of us, we watch and listen to programs that in some way we trust, or believe is genuine, unbiased reporting. Of course what I think is genuine and unbiased is completely different from what other people in different corners of our country think is unbiased and genuine.

The Christ depicted in Ben-Hur speaks to so many of these underlying human problems (albeit indirectly). The camera never shows the face of Christ, only the reaction people have to him. I hate it when people say that something is "all about" something - reducing a complex issue to a nice statement. But in this one instance, it seems appropriate to say that it really is about power. The struggles facing the world are about power - who has it and who doesn't, and what the people with it are doing with it. This struggle for power (or, maybe just the freedom to exist as one chooses) is the context in which a helpless Christ dies for doing nothing wrong.

I am looking forward to the next "classic" from the library. We have close to 2 dozen on the list, so we'll be watching movies till our eyes hurt for the next few weeks :)

beautiful song...

Why I don't have time to blog anymore...at least for now

...Because I'm busy with work and taking Anatomy & Physiology! There is little time for much else. However, I've had some incredible weekends hiking with Ben. We've been hiking along the Columbia River gorge as much as possible while the weather here is so beautiful. We've discovered a website that describes virtually all of the hikes in the Portland area, what to expect, how difficult they are, how to get there, etc. It has been our go-to for all of our hiking adventures this summer. How lucky we are to have such a great resource!

I went to a lecture/conversation at my church with the presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church a few weeks ago. She was wonderful. You can listen to her at my church's website. My priest included his favorite quotations from her talk on his blog and I think he does a pretty good job of highlighting some of her important points. His blog is here.

I'm anxious to get more involved at Grace, but also reluctant to do so, given my already jam-packed schedule. One of things I'd love to do, perhaps next summer when I'm not taking a class, is volunteer at the Art camp. It serves over 1,000 kids in Portland every summer - this year the theme is "Tales from the Ancient Near East." What fun! I would also love to get more involved in the healing ministry/Taize service, and perhaps the Labyrinth ministry. And maybe the gardening guild. You can see now why I was so attracted to this church :) Too little time...

For the next three weeks I will be stuffing as much information re: the skeletal and muscular system into my brain. Memorizing every bone, process, notch, ridge, etc. in the human body. It is fascinating but all-consuming as a condensed summer course. Thus, I am saying goodbye now for quite a while. :)